I currently use white distilled vinegar all over my house.  I clean counters, cutting boards, floors, Jayden’s toys, tables, etc.. to disinfect them.   Vinegar kills 99% of all germs and it’s not poisonous to humans!  Double bonus!  I find it much easier to let Jayden drop his food or binks or whatever on the floor and then stick it in his mouth, or lick the table when he’s done eating when it’s been cleaned with vinegar.  I don’t have to worry about what poinsonous chemical he’s ingesting.  Royal laughs and makes fun, being the chemist he is.  He loves chemicals and thinks they should be used for everything.  I keep buying dishsoap, and laundry soap, and cleaning products that are safer for the environment and not as poisonous for us, and he keeps threatening to make his own cleaning products at work and bring them home.  He says, “Who cares if it eats through cement, at least you know it’s eating away the germs!”   He actually said this to me last night while he and a friend of mine, who was visiting for the night, sat around and made fun of me.  It’s cool, I don’t care.  I do the shopping, so I’ll keep buying the stuff I want.

I have had this problem with ants in my rock retaining wall this summer.  And they aren’t just any ants, they are freaking fire ants.  Biting, mean, little, fire ants.   They build their nest out of the beauty bark inbetween the rocks, running to and fro, without any idea of the hatred I hold for them.  Yes, I know they are God’s creatures and we are suppose to take care of them, but I pose the argument, are you sure they aren’t the Devil’s creatures?  (Good argument I know, ha ha ha)

So quite a few times this summer, while I have been out watering the plants that sit on top of the retaining wall, my hatred for the ants boils over.  I turn my watering hose from a lovely light mist, into a hard stream of water…and I power-wash the suckers right out of the wall.   I am always a little shocked at the number of ants that come streaming out.  I glare at them over my stream of water and say, ‘Get the heck out of my wall you stupid ants!’  So far they haven’t listened, they just start rebuilding their nest a few rocks down.  In about a week, it looks like I never did anything to them.  Resilient little suckers.  The last couple times I have flushed out the ants, I have had a visit from another one of God’s creatures that live in my wall.  A huge hobo spider.  Now don’t get me wrong, I HATE spiders too.  Hate them!  Too many times were we chased out of the closets by those hairy spiders that lived in the cabin at Timberlakes.  Those spiders didn’t run away from you, they jumped at you.  I’ve had nightmares, especially after the movie Arachnophobia.  Not a good one to watch when you already have an aversion to spiders.  But I spare the spider.  Why?  Because I am hoping that it will eat the ants.  I even say to the Hobo, ‘Hobo, please eat these ants, I hate them’.  So far, the spider hasn’t listened either.  If God ever gives me the gift of speaking in tongues, I hope he gives me the language of animals/insects.   Everyone else will think I’m talking crazy, but the bugs will keep a nice safe distance from me.  I think it’s better for everyone’s sake.

I have been wanting to get rid of the ants for awhile because I am afraid of Jayden running over to the wall and getting bit, but I did not want to use poison to do it, for the earth and our sake.  (You’re welcome earth, you can thank me later)  I just couldn’t figure out what to use.  Then as I was reading about the 1001 uses of vinegar , I ran across this “Stop ants from congregating by pouring white distilled vinegar on the area”  I heard angels singing in the distance, I really did.  So, I went to the store and bought a gallon of white distilled vinegar.   During Jayden’s nap, I went out to the wall, I talked to the ants, telling them I gave them lots of chances, but they had made a sad choice in staying and this was the end of the road for them.  I then preceeded to pour the entire gallon of vinegar along the side of the wall where the ants have been living.  The next day, I was out inspecting my work, and I noticed that there were still ants everywhere.  Needless to say I was furious, so I grabbed my hose and I destroyed their nest, mumbling to myself, “stupid vinegar”. 

It was a week ago that I did this.  I was out watering the plants today and I started to look for the makings of another nest by the ants.  And I couldn’t find it anywhere!!!  I love vinegar!  I don’t know why I ever doubted it’s powers!!!  Granted it’s only been a week, and the ants could be moving to the other side of the wall where the vinegar didn’t get poured, but if they do, I’ll be back with a 5 gallon jug of vinegar.  Sayonara Ants!!  Watch out Hobo, you could be next!