WARNING : This posting has a lot of information that some people may not want to read about. Bodily functions…barfing, pooping…if you don’t want to hear about my first day back at home and be bombarded by way too much information about things you probably don’t really want to know about, this is the point where you are going to want to stop reading…. You have been warned.

So Thursday morning, while still in Wichta, I get a phone call from Norma, Royal’s mom, asking for Jayden’s pediatricians info (which I’d actually left with her, but I guess she just wanted to double check). She said that Jayden was throwing up again (by again, I mean he’d been throwing up since I left Tuesday morning) and she just wanted to make sure there wasn’t something wrong with him. So, I give her the info again and tell her to call his medical assistant and talk to her before making an appointment. Turns out there is this flu going around affecting just kids that lasts like 3-5 days and that’s most likely what he has, but if he was still throwing up by Friday morning to call and come in. I felt really bad leaving a sick kid with his grandparents, but I didn’t know he was sick until after I was in Wichita. However, there was a part of me that was kind of grateful. I hate puke. I hate it with a passion. If I hear it, see it, or smell it, it makes me almost puke. Even watching it on tv, makes me gag. It was one of the things that I was most worried about when I knew I was going to be a mom. When my kids get sick, I felt I was going to be pretty much useless. People kept telling me, ‘oh, it’s different when it’s your kids.’ But, it doesn’t really seem so for me. Jayden has only had the puking flu 1 other time and that was when I was still nursing him and I also had the pukers. So, his barf only smelled a little like sour milk, not rotten food, so it didn’t set me off that much. Plus I was puking all the time anyway, so who knows if it was his barf that was making me puke or just my own upset stomach.

So, I got home yesterday afternoon and was told Jayden had kept food down all day and that he seemed better. Hallelujia is what I thought. I ate a couple pieces of pizza before I packed up the car to drive Jayden and I home, when Jayden started asking for bites. I was a little leary of all the cheese and knowing that pizza probably wouldn’t sit well on a queasy stomach, but he was begging and I thought well if he’s hungry I guess I’ll let him eat, plus he’d been keeping food down. So, he’s sitting on my lap, eating his pizza when I hear him start coughing. Nothing big, he had had a little cold before I left and he still had a cough when I dropped him off. Then I hear the phlegm get stuck in his throat and he hasn’t quite mastered how to clear his throat yet, and I look at him like oh crap, because this phlegm had been making him gag the week before. He can’t get the phlegm out, so his body does it for him. I get chewed up pizza and nasty phlegm spewed all down the front of him and all over my pants. I try not to panic, but my throat starts clenching. However, Royal’s family is all sitting there too and they don’t quite know my queasiness for barf yet, so I manage to not breath through my nose and smell it and I take his clothes off as quick as I can, and luckily I keep my own pizza down. He seems fine and just keeps saying, ‘woa, big cough’. I get him cleaned up and in different clothes and we head out on our way home. Royal’s parents gave me a couple extra towels just in case he barfed on me on the drive home. Luckily we made it without incident.

Royal and I get him ready for bed and Jayden starts freaking out. He keeps saying, ‘mom no work, mom no work’. Basically he was afraid that when he woke up, we weren’t going to be there again. He knows if Royal’s not home, he’s at work, so obviously that was where I had been the last few days. I kept reassuring him that mom’s work was all done and that I got to stay with him now. Didn’t really seem to help, so after rocking and rocking and rocking with him, we decide to just let him cry it out a little and see if he can get himself to sleep. He manages to work himself into a bigger frenzy and is crying so hard, he pukes all over his bed. Fan-freaking-tastic. I go in and can smelled the nasty pizza right away, I’m like Royal I need some help! Royal comes in just as I start gagging. I’m able to keep my food down, but pretty much had to hold my breath while I took his clothes off and stripped his bed down. Jayden didn’t go to sleep until after 10 sometime.

5:30am rolls around and Jayden’s at his door banging on it to get out. Sometimes Jayden wakes up and just needs his diaper changed and he usually goes back to sleep until around 7 or so. I beg Royal to get out of bed and do it for me, which he of course does! That’s just the kind of guy Royal is. I hear Jayden say, ‘ooohh, poop’, and I’m thinking, ‘poop this early? what the heck?’ Royal comes back to bed and is like, ‘poor guy, had diarrhea’ I thinking oh man I’m so glad I didn’t have to deal with that. 15 mins later, Jayden is back at the door banging. I am wanting to be mad at him because he stayed up super late and now is wanting to get up super early and all I want to do is sleep. Royal jumps out of bed again and I hear Jayden say, ‘more poop’. I’m like, ‘no way’. Then I see Royal head downstairs with him to the main changing table in the laundry room (way more wipes, more diapers, diaper cream). Royal comes up with Jayden and tries to put him back in bed, but Jayden’s not having it, so he ends up crawling in bed with us. Royal of course fills me in on all the details about how this was the biggest diarrhea he’s ever seen, it was all over the place. I’m just thinking, Hallelujia I didn’t have to do it. Ever since getting pregnant, my gag reflex has been super sensitive, especially in the morning. Changing Jayden’s morning poopy diaper has often times made me gag, but just a little, so I was so thankful I didn’t have to change his diaper this morning. Boy, I didn’t know what I had in store for me. Royal just ends up getting out of bed and heading to work, which means I had to get myself out of bed to take care of Jayden. So, we’re downstairs around 6:30, Jayden was in the kitchen and I smell something horrible. And I mean horrible, this doesn’t smell like poop, it smells more like a dead animal. I’m thinking to myself that there is NO WAY he could of done it again. I go over, and pull the back of his diaper open, just to see what the heck was going on and praying that he was just letting off stinkers. Oh no, I’m not that lucky. (warning: gross part coming up) I look in there, and all I see is soup, a tan colored poop soup. I don’t know how it wasn’t running down his legs, thank goodness he was wearing Huggies instead of a G-diaper at this point, because as much as I LOVE G-diapers, there is no way it would of contained the amount of goo that was in there. It wasn’t just a small amount, it was huge and liquid and smelled horrible! I immediately started gagging and kept gagging as I knew I was going to have to get closer to it and change his diaper. I mean I couldn’t let him just sit in it for the next 11 hours or so until Royal came home. My stomach is seriously lurching, so I set him down outside the laundry room (where the changing table is), and I go inside, shut the door, open the window, and start taking really deep breaths trying to calm my stomach down. Usually, I can take a few deep breaths, put on my big girl pants, and fight on thru the urge to barf and do what needs to be done. So, when I feel like I have myself under control, I grab Jayden and put him on the table. I immediately start gagging again. Like seriously gagging, like almost throwing up. I think I have it under control again, and I whip open that diaper super fast so I won’t really be able to see whats inside, but the idea of it floats through my mind and then it happens. I totally throw up. Luckily all I had so for was a little water, at least it wasn’t a waffle or something, so I grab the garbage can and spit it all out into that. I go back to cleaning Jayden up, who by the way is cracking up laying there saying, ‘mom, big cough! ha ha ha, big cough!’, as I continue to gag and almost barf again. I finish him up, puke one more time in the garbage, and then run the garbage bag and his nasty soup diaper out to the garbage. Good riddance! Hoping and praying that he will not do that anymore today. Well, I wasn’t so lucky. 20 mins later I was back in the laundry room, fighting back barfing, changing him out one more time. If only I had been more proactive on the potty training. Curse my laziness and his stubborness!!!! So far, the rest of the day has been just fine. All the nastiness has kept itself contained and hopefully now that its the afternoon, my gag reflex will have settled down and I’ll be able to handle anything Jayden throws at me. Well, I hope he doesn’t actually throw it….sick…..