Ok, when Royal and I first came here for his interview and were looking at houses and stuff, we mentioned something to the realtor showing us around about the Arkansas River. We pronounced it Ar-kan-saw, like a normal person. The realtor said, ‘oh you can tell you’re not from around here, we call it the Arkansas’ Pronounced Ar-kansas, like the state of kansas with an R in front of it…R-kansas. I was like, ‘ha ha, good one’. I seriously thought it was a joke. I figured that people around here really did call it the r-kansas river, or the state of r-kansas, instead of like ar-kan-saw, like a normal person, but I thought they knew better. Then tonight, Royal and I were watching the news and something came up about a bridge that got taken out by flooding, and the news anchor pronouced the river, r-kansas. I was like, ‘what did she just say? are you serious? people actually think that’s the real name of the river??’ Royal was like, ‘yea, i told you’. I was like, ‘I thought it was just a joke’. Royal’s like, ‘nope, when the river leaves colorado, it’s called the ar-kan-saw, but when it comes through kansas, they call it the r-kansas, and then when it leaves kansas, it’s called the ar-kan-saw again’ This place is freaking retarded….

Ok, so it’s been awhile. Kaylee keeps harassing me, telling me I’m way down on her blog reader and I need to get it together. Sure there’s been things to blog about that would at least let people see something other than AppleJack Pumpkin Patch, but come on, I’m ginormous and pregnant and sometimes it’s just too far to walk across the room and get the camera and who wants to read a post with no pictures? Because let’s face it, you’re really not interested in my stories, it’s the cute pictures of Jaydo that make it all worth while.

I could of posted some pictures of Jayden’s new drawings of Jojee. He’s been sitting at the table drawing Jojee over and over and over again. He even drew Jojee with her owie - her big nasty oozy burn on her arm. Jojee gets drawn with blue eyes and black eyes and green eyes and orange eyes, I have more pictures of Jojee than I know what to do with - they don’t look anything ike Jojee of course, but that’s what he’s calling them. I’m thinking of putting them together in a book and giving them to Jojee (Merry Christmas! ha ha). I could of written a post about all the food I made last weekend to freeze in preparation for the baby showing up, because if this one is anything like Jayden, it’ll show up early when I least expect it, which means I only have a couple weeks to go - I need to make it about 10 more days until I get to week 37, so I can have this baby at home like I want to, otherwise to the hospital I go. (come on, early baby! small and slippery! i’m just sure this one is gonna shoot out like it’s covered in crisco. i’ll let you know how that turns out for me) I could of written a post about how when Jayden and I are singing Old McDonald and I ask him what animal lives on the farm, he says, ‘ummmm….roast beef’. What the heck kind of a sound does roast beef make? Anyways, you’re not going to get to read about those little things we’ve been doing, I’m going to tell you all about poop.

Royal and I decided back in July that we were gonna get Jayden potty trained. We spent one weekend with him running around naked, pumping him full of fluids, and getting him to pee in the toilet. And wouldn’t you know it, for the most part it worked. He was wearing undies, not having too many accidents, and we were pumped to not have to do the whole diaper thing. However, poop was another issue. Jayden REFUSED to poop in the toilet. He would hold it and hold it and hold it and eventually poop in his underwear. I HATE poop in underwear. So, after a couple weeks of fighting that battle, I decided to give up. Jayden needed to decide that he was gong to poop in the toilet, there’s just not a whole lot you can do about forcing someone to do it besides slipping him a little exlax and I really didn’t want to make it more traumatizing then it needed to be. Jayden was very consistant about when he would poop and would only do it if he had a diaper on. So, I’d put a diaper on him right before naptime and right before bedtime and let him do his business. He’d run off to some room in the house, close the door, and do his business. Every few weeks, we’d try and get him to go on the toilet, but he refused. Royal made him sit on the toilet for 2 hours one night, nope nothing. We promised treats, presents, whatever he wanted if he would just do it. Jayden still refused. There was nothing he wanted, until September rolled around. When the Wagner’s came to visit and we had a birthday party for Wyatt, Wyatt got a bunch of Cars toys. Jayden suddenly realized that he could have a Lightening McQueen all his own that he could play with and he kept asking for one. So, I decided to use it as leverage. I told him if he pooped in the toilet, I would go buy him his very own Lightening McQueen. This got him to sit on the toilet a couple of times, but in the end, even Lightening McQuen wasn’t a good enough reason to just do it. So, as this last package of diapers has slowly widdled away, (yes, i was using disposables at this point. he’s too big for the size of g-diapers i have and i didn’t want to buy the next size to just use for a small amount of time. i know, i feel guilty….the poor toxic landfills….sorry my future great great great grandchildren…i was using it as incentive to convince Jayden to poo in the toilet) anyhoo, i was saying, as this last package of diapers has widdled away, Jayden and I have been talking about what we were going to do when they were all gone, where was Jayden’s poop going to go. Jayden came to the conclusion that he was “gonna have to poop in the toilet…ALL…THE…TIME!” (his words) Well, Tuesday was d-day for me. The diapers were all gone and the poop was going to have to go somewhere, I was praying it wasn’t going to be in his underwear, and I was really praying that I wasn’t going to have to break down and buy more diapers. So, we started getting ready for nap about an hour ahead of time, and Jayden asked for his diaper, we went to his little cupboard to look and there were none, so off to the bathroom we went. It took about 40 mins of jumping between the little toilet to the big toilet to no i’m not pooping i’m going to bed to no i’m not taking a nap i’m pooping. Hallelujia, after 40 mins he drops a bomb in the toilet. The minute he was done, he looked at me and said, ‘I get a present!’ Guess he remembered. :) So, after naptime we went and bought him his very own Lightening McQueen. I also bought a few extra cars incase he needed incentive in the future. Well, 3 days went by and Jayden was refusing to poop in the toilet or anywhere for that matter again. I was starting to get a little worried. I mean, you don’t go to the bathroom, it just gets all plugged up and then it’s really hard to go. But he refused and was throwing major fits about it, and Jayden is my little battler. He makes his mind up about something, he will pretty much just stare you down, so I knew I was going to have to wait this one out. So this morning I took matters into my own hands. I knew he had to go…who the heck doesn’t after 3 days??? and he wasn’t eating very much which made me think his stomach was starting to hurt. So, I made him a fruit smoothie and I put some Arbonne Fiber shake in it. About 20 mins afterwards, I told him it was time to go to the bathroom and I pulled out the big guns. I got a little Lightening McQueen car from my stash and told him he could have this car to play with as soon as he pooped in the toilet, then I put the car up on a high shelf where he could see it but not reach it. He sat on the toilet for about 5 seconds, then decided to get all the stools from around the house and see if he could climb up and reach it himself. After he determined he couldn’t reach it, he told me he didn’t want the car afterall and went downstairs to play with his toys. 15 minutes rolls by and he comes up stairs, grabs his stool to get on the toilet (it was under the shelf where the car was sitting) and walks into the bathroom. Like 30 seconds later I hear, ‘mom, i pooped’. Hallelujia! I win!!! So what, I have to pay my kid to poop in the toilet. It’s cool, at least I’ll get a couple week break from having to deal with poopie diapers before the next one comes along.